I remember peaceful moments when I’m sitting on the floor of my father’s study. While he paints his picture, I paint mine. I can see exactly what I want to paint and how it will look.
The disappointment is huge, because the forest with the animals in it just won’t turn out right. I want to make my father proud – proud of what I can do. I wish so much to be praised and seen. I’m about 4 years old.
In my memory, though, I never really managed to impress him. I often had the feeling that he mainly saw the mistakes in my pictures. Sentences like “The perspective is off” or “Your portraits all look the same” have stayed with me to this day. To me it felt as if there was always something to find fault with.
Only since the break with my family last year have I been learning not only to accept myself as I am, but also to simply let my talents be as they are. With all their strengths and weaknesses that make them unique.