Allowing Strength

It’s easier than you think.

We are as strong as we want to be – not as others would like us to be.

Other people are constantly expecting us to be a certain way. Often the person in front of us wishes for someone who doesn’t show any strength. Because that could get uncomfortable. Overbearing people, for example, who have a hard time dealing with their own weaknesses. Or people who are incapable of self-reflection and of working through things.

That’s when communication quickly turns into a power struggle. And of course it’s more convenient then if the other person submissively keeps their mouth shut and silently puts up with everything that’s being forced on them.

I think it’s time for us to define for ourselves again how strong we want to be. To decide for ourselves when we want to be strong and when we’re allowed to show weakness. And to remind ourselves: It isn’t our problem if someone can’t handle our strength, our clear boundaries or our follow-through.

Everyone has their own hurdles to overcome. And sometimes you’re allowed to say, very deliberately: “No, that isn’t my problem, it’s yours.”

Of course, we must never forget to look at ourselves as well, and to act just as reflectively as we expect others to. That should be the basic requirement. But when that’s the case, we’re allowed to stand by our strength – without guilt, without justifying ourselves, and with the self-care we need.

“breathe in deeply and out – I am as strong as I want to be!”

🖤🖤🖤

As a survivor of a traumatic childhood, I'm not speaking as a psychological counselor; I'm telling you about my own life experience and sharing what I've learned.